Geezerhood?

I think I’ve entered Geezerhood We sat down in the booth at Reb’s Café and Coffee Shop where we had stopped to get a bite of breakfast after church--or lunch if it suited one’s whim at 11:00 AM on a Sunday morning. I had barely settled into my spot on the bench when it leapt out at me--Geezerhood. That was the name of a little book in the rack on the table. It stood there innocently enough, but my curiosity was peaked. I didn’t even wait for the waitress to take my order before I grabbed the book and started flipping through it, stopping briefly to give my order when she returned with the cups of coffee, the glasses of water, and her order pad. By the time the waitress placed food in front of me, I had scanned several pages in the book.

It was fascination

By now you’ve figured out I was rather fascinated with this subject, haven’t you? I figured if anyone should find out a little about “Geezerhood,” it’s certainly someone who is standing on the edge of that classification like I am! In my short expedition into the pages of this delightful little book, I realized I am already over the line into Geezerhood instead of standing on the edge. You may be a geezer if… I deduced this from the chapter called “You may be a geezer if….” Here are the two symptoms that clarified it for me:

• You may be a geezer if new wrinkles are covering your body at roughly the same rate that the rain forests are being depleted and you think the two are somehow connected.
• You may be a geezer if your wrinkles are larger and more firm than your muscles.

Advantages of Geezerhood As the shock of this realization began to wear off, I happened upon the chapter that told the advantages of being a geezer. Whew! I think these advantages may help to balance the horror of learning I am already a geezer.

• You now have an improved sense of humor. (Ha! Ha! Ha!)
• You have an enhanced ability to out-annoy other annoying people. (Shush, Fatso, I’m trying to hear the program!)
• Your need to spend money on fashion changes is reduced. (Great! I’ll buy more chocolate!)
• You now have developed the wisdom of the aged. (Oh, yeah? Nobody has noticed.)

Well, now that I know I’m an old geezer, I can stop worrying about becoming one and start enjoying the advantages of my new state of existence. Watch out, world, here comes another geezer! You want a copy? By the way, if you’d like a copy of “Geezerhood” by Ben Goode, stop in at Reb’s Café and Coffee Shop in Benson, AZ. They have copies for sale at the cashier’s desk. Blessings, Sclew